Anthony

Please check out rememberanthony.com and leave your prayers for his family. They have also set up a memorial fund to help pay for the funeral expenses. They are astronomical and the entire family has chipped in house funds and charged credit cards to help pay. Any amount is much appreciated.

Thank you,
Jess

700 Club Fun!

Kristi, Lucy and I--being models:)

Lucy, Kristi and Scruffy, down at Campland for the final, family film shots.

Kristi and I, freezing our back sides off!

We're a little wind blown.

I promised Kristi that I would put only the best pictures of her on my blog but I figure, I'm making a goofy face too so it's fair game:) Here we are doing what we both do best, TALKING!

Our MOST favorite TV crew EVER...Stan, Kristi and Brian on the right!

Our house was clean and our hair prettified by the time we got up at 8:00 on Saturday morning to prepare for the crew. They arrived around 10:00. God knew my only fear was that my anxiety would take over and I would come off as a spastic speed freak! Instead, I was overcome with peace and joy. I had a feeling that hostess, Kristi, and I were going to get along wonderfully. Thankfully I was right, she is SO much fun! She's just as beautiful in person, both inside and out. She's really down to earth and (scary:) reminded me so much of myself. From the start it was like we'd been friends for years. We laughed and spoke our minds before thinking about what it was we were saying:) This may not seem like a good thing but when you are the type of person that constantly says what you're thinking, it's good to find others that have this affliction...er...blessing too:) If anything, the one fault was that we had too much fun. We laughed and joked about the video scenes where people look longingly out the window. We teased her about it so much that she made Danny do it! Poor Danny. We also had camera and sound guys, Brian and Stan. These are two wonderful men. They made us feel at ease and were kind and fun to film with.

All in all, other than our marriage and the birth of our daughter, this was the best day of our lives. God really did get all the glory because the only word we could come up with to describe our day is that we were incredibly blessed. We went to sleep feeling God's love and blessing on our lives. Our story will air during the telethon in May. We're excited to see how beautifully, Kristi, Stan and Brian put our story together. We'll let everyone know the exact date when we find out.

The 700 Club

Hi everyone, we have some awesome news!We're excited to announce that on March 14th, Kristi Watts and a camera crew from The 700 Club are coming to our home to tell our story. We called in with a prayer of thanks about God's financial protection and blessing during these difficult economic times. A couple months later, a producer called and interviewed us, saying they might be interested in telling our story. We were approved and the interview has been set! We'll post an update on when our story will air and will probably have a get-together to watch it with everyone. We hope you'll all be able to make it as we feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to share what God has done for our family and what He wants to do for everyone.

Feb 20th...Happy Birthday Lucy!

Happy 9th Birthday to our beautiful baby girl!

We love your inquisitive mind. The questions, specifically about God, that you come up with are amazing. We love your sweet, empathetic heart. We love your energy, un-ending and enthusiastic. You are our sweet and crazy angel. Our life would not be the same without you. Lucy truly means "light bringer" and you have brought so much light to our lives! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Thank you God for trusting us to be your parents. We feel so very honored to have been chosen.

Om-Kas-Toe, Book Review

The Sonlight homeschool curriculum is literary based and fourth grade centers much around Indians. I will admit that in school, I found the Indian Studies kind of boring. Not that I find Indians or their way of life, especially centuries ago, boring. It's amazing how they survived and build civilizations. Heck, I even have some Cherokee in me. I think my problem was rooted in the way the material was presented. I just found it so incredibly dull. Lucy and I are working on the book Om-kas-toe: Blackfeet Twin Captures and Elkdog, written by Kenneth Thomasma. The forward explains that, "without historical fiction" there would be no depiction of the way life was for Indian girls and boys before the 1900's. Before the 1700's, we can only speculate. The author interviewed and received many of his ideas from a 103 year old member of the Blackfeet Tribe.

The story itself is about twins born into the Blackfeet Tribe--a boy and girl. Normally, the girl twin would be left behind to die because it was believed that a mother would not be able to keep up with her responsibilities to the tribe with two babies. She talks the elders into giving her a chance and goes above and beyond in taking care of her chores. The twins can stay. From the start, they bring good luck to the tribe. In order for the tribe members to get food, the fastest runners have to hunt and capture animals. It works, but it's not easy. Then, Twin Boy finds an animal that the Blackfeet people name Elkdog. In reality it's a horse and life in the Blackfeet Tribe will never be the same.

I recommend this book to kids and adults, it's interesting. Children under seven or eight might get a little bored. The reading level is at a third/fourth grade level, maybe second if you have an advanced reader, but younger children might enjoy having it read to them. Young boys will probably be more interested than the girls as it seems to focus on Twin Boy. Twin Girl is part of the story though.

As for me, I've either found an Indian story that I'm really enjoying or I'm growing up and more open to learning new things. Let's split the difference on that one. Did you see that? I'm even learning to compromise more. Sure it's only with myself but it counts!

Book Review, The Shack

Let me begin by saying that the concept of this story is devastating and breathtaking. It is heartbreaking and full of hope. As I started reading, at the recommendation of a couple of friends, one Christian, the other not, I felt the main characters emptiness. I liked him and wanted him to find light. As the story progressed, I liked Mack even more. I liked his family too. They were a normal family and I could relate. As the book described the cause of The Great Sadness, as Mack refers to it, the abduction and murder of his six year old daughter, my heart hurt. I felt scared for the child, thought of my own, and cried. I fully understood the oppression that settled over Mack after such a loss. Then, someone claiming to be God, sends him a letter, inviting him to return to the shack where evidence of his daughter's murder had been found years earlier.

What occurs in the rest of the book is a little harder to describe. Mack literally spends the weekend with, God (Papa), Jesus, and Sarayu (The Holy Spirit). This is where the book gets a bit complicated as far as how it's perceived. When, God, Jesus and Sarayu are speaking, it's best to be reading their words in a quiet place because some of it is in great depth and a bit complicated. I got the gist of it but found if I wasn't paying close attention, I had to re-read the paragraph. There is a lot in the book that is right on! It made me really take a look at Christian life and my relationship with God and others. That being said, there were some parts, from a Christian point of view, that raised a red flag in my head. Phrases I knew were false to Christianity and that I knew would not come from, God, Jesus or The Holy Spirit.

The way Mr. Young describes each setting, particularly the shacks transformation, is beyond words! I was very disappointed that the forward stated that the story is true and it's not.
This book definitely paints a new, more personal, picture of religion. Since I was at a place of needing to feel God on a more personal level, I took something from it. Some worthy lessons. God, in three persons, depicted on a human level, like when He walked the earth, really made me feel a new kind of connection. Keep in mind, despite the Biblical inaccuracies, this book is a tear-jerker. While the resolution Mack is brought to in the end, on its own merit, almost makes the book worth reading, it was difficult, as a mother, to read the parts about his daughter's murder. I found myself crying a few times.

In conclusion, a lot of controversy on this one. I knew nothing about it when I started reading. I'm glad my radar went off throughout. I enjoyed the good and threw out the bad. I know many people might be offended by how human (and yet perfect) The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, are in this book, but I found that to be the most refreshing part of the story. I believe God meets us where we are, in a way we can relate to Him. That's the info, you decide!

Addiction-Conviction

When we think about the word addicted, we think cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. The truth is, we are a nation of addiction, to money, power, the newest electronic toy and food! We are a nation addicted to food, greasy and super sized. I recently read a quote stating that if we don't make significant changes, this could be the first generation EVER, to have a shorter lifespan than their parents. Are we going backwards? The progress America has made since the 1950's is astounding. The chain smoking, red meat eating and exercise deprived have been educated. We know what is healthy and what is not. We have miraculous medical research and technology to help us understand healthy lifestyles and how to live them as well as to prevent and treat. So why are our children getting fatter and more unhealthy? Perhaps it's that we've become a generation of excess. And in the pursuit of excess, we have no time to eat healthy or explore the outdoors. We have to have the biggest house, more stuff, and kids are carted from one activity to the next so they're "well rounded" (some pun intended). Mom's and dad's both work. We want better cars, the latest cell phone, designer clothes. What happened to the joy and simplicity of the American dream? The Wonder Years. The simple house with the simple car that dad worked on until it was literally falling apart. Where are the days of nightly family dinners complete with one protein source, a vegetable, starch, glass of milk and hearty helping of bickering siblings?

We are addicted to, "I want it now, I deserve it, give it to me!" Who cares if we have to use a credit card or run the kids through the drive thru or stick them in front of the TV or Wii--whatever is self gratifying and easiest. And I'm not judging! I'm just as guilty as the next mom of sometimes being too tired to cook or crashing onto the couch after a busy day while my daughter sits in front of the TV. But we all have to make some changes so our children can enjoy a full and healthy life and go on to teach their children how to do the same.

Healthy and fresh foods are less expensive than the pre-made, packaged foods. Farmers Markets and organic foods are often cheaper than food at the large grocery store chains. A chicken breast, rice and veggies takes 20 minutes to cook. Salmon fillets with baby red potatoes and fresh asparagus stalks takes 20 minutes to cook. Alaskan Wild Salmon (fresh) has no fishy taste (you can even add a little bit of ketchup), your kids WILL eat it. A few squirts of butter with a dash of garlic salt or a tablespoon of low fat Italian or Caesar dressing makes any vegetable kid friendly. Anyone can find time to take their child to the park for 20 minutes, a couple times a week. And guess what kids do when they don't have TV's to watch and video games to play? They imagine, pretend, write and..gasp...read! We need to take the time to teach our children and love them. We need to give them the chance to grow healthy and strong. Maybe that means less overtime at work, or a station wagon instead of a gas guzzling SUV. I promise you that in the end, your child is going to remember the time their parents spent with them and the healthy lessons taught, not that they had a luxury car or the latest "it" toy.

He Had a Dream

In pausing to remember Martin Luther King Jr. and what he stood for, I started thinking about where we are today. We are about to see our first (sorta) black president come into office. Ironic that it is happening the day after MLK Day. The most ridiculous amount of money has and is being spent-during a major recession mind you-to celebrate Obama's taking of office. I will admit that I voted for the other guy. I wasn't a huge fan of his either, but morally, he was a better fit for my beliefs. All through Bush's presidency I said, "people may not like him, but he is our president and for that reason we must get behind him so our nation does not divide." I won't be a hypocrite during Obama's presidency and will extend him the same courtesy so long as he earns it.

This is where today's thoughts have come into play. Martin Luther King Jr.'s famous speech states, " I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." What are we doing with Obama? We're celebrating him simply because he's a darker shade of brown. We're honoring him and pouring out asinine amounts of money that our nation doesn't have on this "great brown hope." We are judging him on the color of his skin and political party he backs. I'm sorry but I judge a man on his content. I'd like to see what Obama does before I celebrate him. I'd like to see that he is someone Martin Luther King Jr. would've voted for because of the content of his character. I am excited to be alive during this time where a "black" man can take the office of President of the United States of America. We've come a long way. I just want him to be the right black man. Not one squeezed into office because the nation was desperate for change and saw the opportunity to be a part of making history. Hitler made history too. No, I'm not comparing the two, I'm just saying.

We will NEVER, EVER, EVER come close to understanding the decisions a president has to make and what decisions President Bush had to make. A president is like a parent. His children (the nation) may not always like him and view him as their friend, but he sees the danger, the bigger picture. His job is to protect and defend, not win a popularity contest. A good president makes the difficult and often unpopular choices to do what's best for the country. Obama is about to learn that leading an entire nation is not black and white-no pun intended. So before I celebrate his very existence, I'd like to see what he's going to do. Right now, he hasn't done anything.

I will honor Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream in the way I live my life and judge others. I will give a chance (I don't have to be thrilled about it) to the man I did not vote into office. And whatever he does in the next four years, I will judge based on the content of his character and not the color of his skin. I hope he proves worthy of the faith this nation has already placed in him.

Home, unsmelly home & a pre-review

We're home. I had my fill of broccoli and sleeping on the floor.

So, here's what's in the works. I am in the midst of reading a few different books for review:

Last Child in the Woods by: Richard Louv
The Center of Winter by: Marya Hornbacher

There are some others that I'm sort of reading/ previewing. I can only read so many books at once and organize my thoughts about each one. Besides, I'd hate to discuss a specific part in a book and realize it wasn't really in that one. So far, I like "Last Child in the Woods." I do recall as a child, playing outside all day until my parents dragged me in. I remember climbing trees and collecting frogs. I also have some embarrassing memories of me doing full (one woman acts, mind you) movie scenes in the backyard on our lawn. Hands stretched wide, I belted out songs from "The Sound of Music" and wore the perfect Maid Marion dress for my adventures with Robin Hood. I should add that when I pictured myself as Maid Marion and imagined my Robin, we were both foxes, like in the cartoon version. "Last Child in the Woods" discuses how today's children are suffering from Nature-Deficit Disorder which has caused childhood obesity to sore and higher rates of ADD and other such disorders, resulting in an abundance of medicated children. I totally agree! I don't remember ever complaining about being bored when I was growing up. Yet today, with all the technology and BIGGER and MORE toys and activities, kids are bored and some quite lazy and disrespectful. I'm not saying it's all a lack of simple, peaceful outdoor time but its absence sure hasn't helped.

Now that my sermon is finished, I will continue my reading and write a full length review (perhaps with a few sneak peeks along the way) when I'm finished.

A Stinky Situation

So here we are...the old house. I have to say it's SO nice to be closer to everything again. All of our neighbors have been really welcoming and sharing how it's nice to have us close, even for just a short while. We slept on couch cushions last night, on the floor. The one cat we brought is confused and meowed all night on and off. But honestly, I have never been so comfortable in my life! Those cushions with a feather filled blanket thrown over them, make the most awesome bed ever! I knocked out most of the cleaning in the kitchen and one bathroom today. I got the master bedroom cleaned last night before we slept in it. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

The only problem we have run into is, THE SMELL! The house has been sitting for a while without being aired out and oops (hee hee) I accidentally left a Tupperware filled with cooked broccoli in the refrigerator (covered with tin foil because I couldn't find the "real" cover, of course). It's been like five months. The smell is still lingering a bit. You'd be surprised how much broccoli can be the gift that keeps on giving (in so many ways:)

Hopefully we'll be finished soon. It's hard to be inspired to write with a rancid broccoli cloud hovering above. Wish us luck, something tells me we're going to need it:)

In a Slump of Repetitivness

I'm finding that my biggest problem in life seems to go something like this: We decided to move somewhere, I keep busy with boxing everything up. I'm excited to find things I forgot I had and can't wait to be "more" (I use that word so generously) organized in the new place. The boxing is good for me because it allows me to be a bit OCD and is a seemingly, never-ending project to take up my abundance of hyperactivity. Then we move. Another project ensues as I empty the boxes. I'm more excited now because it's all new and I love decorating and figuring out the best way for everything to fit into a room without taking away the spaciousness. Hubby and I are also kinda HGTV junkies. We love all the house search and renovation shows.

Then I get bored. Now please don't take this as a lack of thankfulness or a total discontentment with life. I just get antsy with routine. Perhaps it's the ADHD or just my artistic side but routine drives me BATTY! This is where I'm at right now. I get into a funk because I need something new and challenging and so I feel stuck. Then, I shut down.

I've been racking my brain on how I can change this situation for myself. Often we will get away for the weekend but that doesn't seem likely right now. I was thinking (and praying) and finally the solution hit me last night in bed as I lay listening to the lingering cough of my sleeping child. We still have the house in Alpine and it needs to be cleaned out and fixed up to sell. Why not stay there for a week or two? I can have a project, working on the house and be close to town. I am going a little nuts up here. So that's what we're doing later today. Sure, there's no furniture but hey, we're pioneers. And some time without TV is always a good thing. I'll let everyone know how it turns out. Hopefully I'll have lots of time to read (I can't do a book review on my website if I don't finish a book:) and write.

Footnote-Hi Vanessa.

Project 09'

I am starting a new writing project on January 1st. It's a hands on experiment of sorts and I will be living (and journaling) it for six months. I know this is incredibly vague but it's all you're getting for now. Stay tuned for many new writing endeavours in 2009. I have many ideas I've been putting off and I plan on making 2009 a writing year.

Imagine

Imagine a time long ago, the promise of a savior inside you to grow. Created to be mother to God's only son. Imagine if you were the chosen one. Imagine how hard it was to trust in God's plan. How blind faith must sometimes be when we don't understand. Imagine having to hold on to faith, when you would rather run, risking life's comfort and dignity for the salvation of everyone. Imagine how Mary must have felt like an ordinary girl, not good enough to bring the King of Kings into this world. Imagine how God came to her and said, "you know my will is best." And how she stood before him and said, "Lord my answer's yes." Think of the purpose every child's life holds and the prayers attached to each one. Think if your child's purpose was to die. If the world's redemption lay in the sacrifice of your son. Think of a father's sorrow and joy, felt at his only son's birth. Think how God gave with each one of us in mind and the price he thought we were worth. Never forget the way Mary obeyed or the first present given on Christmas Day. Remember every day of the year, to share with others why we are here. Remember we all have heartache and troubles but quitting is such a waste. We should spend our times helping others, as God helps us, we should be sharing His grace. Most important of all remember this, always let God's light shine through your eyes, for I'd hate hate to think that you turned your back on an angel in disguise. (C) J.L. 2008

What day is it?

Our Christmas party was a success. The tables were pretty, the food was yummy (although I didn't really eat any of it until today), and the people were lovely. Almost every child was hacking and snotting) I have a theory that it was part cold and part elevation change....yes, let's go with that. I am extremely tired today but for good reasons. Santa made a surprise visit and had presents for all the kids. And my party favor baskets went over nicely. I think everyone felt blessed. The only things to change for next year? Hire a maid to clean the house the week of and have the party catered:) Oh yes, and strike oil to pay for the above mentioned.

We missed those that were unable to make it but we'll have tea and crumpets soon. No seriously, I got a new teapot that I REALLY want to use.

I'll try and post party pictures soon.

Day ? Be more organized with days

I have been REALLY busy the past couple weeks so I've sorta temporarily abandoned my 21 days of change thing. Perhaps as part of the challenge I will take a little time off for reflexion. At least this makes me sound smart instead of flaky:)

Our "little" dinner party has risen to 33 people, yikes! The turkey has been ordered, one friend is in town and another arrives on Friday. I have made 22 jars of jelly and a basket full of bath salts for gifts. I have to make little bread loaves and then I'm done with the "party favors." Other than that........cleaning, cleaning, CLEANING! Oh blasted cleaning! I hate thee with pure hatred because thou art NEVER finished.

The presents are wrapped but I still have a little more to do for Jude. When I will do this, I am not yet sure. I'm figuring it will all come together...gulp! Christmas is the time for doing for others and despite the fact that I always over extend, I do enjoy doing it and making friends and family happy. It would be so much easier if I could just wiggle my nose and Poof! it all just was.

Tricia

It's midnight in New York, technically December 13th. I want to wish my cousin Tricia a happy birthday. This will be the second birthday she's spent in Heaven. I'm sure the celebration is so much more incredible there! But we miss her and so today we reflect on her life and the good she brought to us in her 34 years.

So, Happy Birthday Trish. I love you and miss you. I think of you often and all the good memories. Though I know the what ifs are pointless, I think of all I wanted to say to you that I didn't get the chance to. Somehow, I think you know. May Heaven celebrate you today and the angels rejoice!

Day 16/17- Timing is Everything!

I made my lists (and checked them twice) yesterday. Usually I have everything bought and wrapped weeks before Christmas. This is not necessarily a good thing because then I have nothing to do but sit back and be...gasp...patient! I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve, unable to sleep with anticipation. Only I spend two weeks doing that because I've got nothing else to do but wait. This year I've gotten organized and spaced everything out. I have a to do list for our Christmas party, some presents bought and some left to buy. My list is finished as are the days everything will be accomplished. This will probably help in making the time fun as we're having flies.

Kat and I got tattoos on Sunday. I've been wanting to memorialize some of my lost angels for a while now. I got a cluster of forget-me-nots on my left shoulder. Six of them to be exact. One for my grandma, Abuela, my cousin Tricia and friends, Erik, Cindy, Janell and Ryan. It's beautiful but a little uncomfortable to have clothing rubbing on it. Especially since it's kind of a tight and bony area. I'm freezing my backside off in tank tops. Luckily, sitting in front of the fire helps and it's feeling better today. I'll post a picture when I can.

Day 15....Day of Rest

I AM SOOOO TIRED!!! One of my teeth was throbbing last night and I didn't fall asleep until 7Am. I'm hoping tonight goes better. So, today is a day of relaxation. I hope to accomplish absolutely nothing:) So far, so good.

Hey, it's important to learn to do nothing just as it is to do everything. In Italian it is, Il bel far niente. The beauty of doing nothing.

Days 12-14- Reading, Writing and NO MATH!

For the next couple of days, I'm going to concentrate on reading and writing. I've started reading the book that I will review (the first) on this blog for my website, Jessicalennon.com. I will do this as soon as possible. I'm planning on taking more time during the week for reading and writing. I tend to go a little mad without them. I believe it's part of being a creative soul. I am artistic first and entirely. When I don't embrace that in some small way, daily, I feel dead inside. Then the people in my life don't get the best me.

I'm also very happy because I started writing a new novel last night. Now that I've had some time to recover from the completion of my memoir, I'm ready to go again. The query letter is still out to about four agents and all I have to say is, "with patients possess ye my soul." The waiting game is not fun! Especially when one is waiting for a life changing dream to come true. I enjoyed self publishing. The product was put together well and I am proud of both books. But I'm ready to take it to the next level.

My previous agent was sweet and I almost had a publishing deal because of her. I got my first taste of writing success with her and I'm ready for more now. Only this time, I'm ready to see it through. I'm off to create!

Day 11- Peace Out with Donna Reed!

Imagine the clanging music you would hear in a movie while someone is meditating or saying something like, "Can't you feel that Man? It's the love, Man....(stoner laugh inserted here)." No, Day 11 is not about getting high and, feeling the love, Man. It's about finding the peace in life. This is something that the world today does not readily provide. We're all so busy working, raising families and carting kids here, there and everywhere, when do we have time to "just be?"

When do we have time to sit and have dinner as a family or read with our children? While I'm not a fan of certain aspects of the 50's wife-style, I have to say it had it's strong points.

Families ate together.

Families played together.

Wives wanted to be beautiful for their husbands.

There was discipline and therefore respect by the children in the home.

There was virtue and morality.

It was more ok to believe in God and follow Biblical principles than not to and not only were you not chastised for it, but as I see it, the world and families ran smoother. Divorce did not end half of all marriages, children did not shoot up schools, get pregnant out of wedlock, let alone in elementary school, have abortions or have oral sex (it's not really sex you know, thanks Clinton) in Jr. High School. I apologize if these views are not in tune with the liberal cool that is so accepted today but I'd rather be lame than watch my daughter go down in flames. I DO NOT want those things for her life. It is not ok with me. I most definitely don't want her making the same mistakes I did. I always tell my hubby that I want our daughter to be a Rory (from Gilmore Girls.) The kind of girl that all the boys want to be with but hold in such high regard--because she holds herself in high regard, not in a conceited way, but respectful of herself--that they would be honored to just be her friend let alone try and sleep with her.

It's difficult to find peace when we know what we're up against. Ironically, our family has found the battle to be more amongst our own (extended) families than the world. That is sad.

The 50's ideals weren't such a bad deal for us ladies. In fact, all of those 50's wives kicked butt. Donna Reed was one of the first female producers (though uncredited) on her show. Barbara Billingsley (June Cleaver on Leave it to Beaver) not only made a name as one of America's ideal mother's, but today, at 92 years old, she is still acting.

I'm thinking it's entirely possible to be a strong, force to be reckoned with, woman and still have dinner with our families at night. I believe we find joy and peace, not in sacrificing ourselves to our families but embracing our dreams and goals with them. I don't want my daughter to think I'm perfect. I'd rather her know I'm human and have hopes and dreams and faults. When I'm writing, I'm a happier and healthier woman, wife and mother. I'd rather bring that in and make it part of my daughter's life than throw it away and not be the best me. I've never believed that anyone should sacrifice pieces of themselves for their children but that a child is just one more person to enrich dreams and one more person to experience the beauty and fullness of life with--a creative and missing piece of the puzzle. All art and beauty comes from passion and emotion and there's nothing more passionate and emotional than the love we feel for our children. Everything is more beautiful, happy, sad and sometimes ugly (the world) since I've had my daughter. Therefore, my writing is more of those things too.

So, today, I will give peace and the 50's wife-style a try:) Milk and cookies anyone? They're fresh from the oven (and the cow.)